Forgotten Lives
by PossessedbySoda
Summary: Ed is surrounded by all the faces he has known and loved… But do they remember him? Trapped in an alternate world filled with familiar faces but empty hearts, Ed meets someone he’s been wanting to see for a very long time…Spoiler warning! Shounen-ai EdxAl


Disclaimer: As much as I would looooove to own Full Metal Alchemist…..(and THE Full Metal Alchemist…heh heh hides chains behind back) I sadly do not. So unless you want to make me cry, don't remind me of it….

Hey people! I just want to WARN YOU AGAIN that this fanfic contains SPOILERS for the ending of the anime!! SO BEWARE! Don't come crying to me just because I ruined something for you!

As for the plot itself…. I was NOT HAPPY about the ending of the show…. (Holy crap, do you know how much I CRIED at the end??.....Yes I know I get too emotional over anime….but….IT WAS SOOOOO SAD!!!! (cries)) So anyway, in a towering rage, I created this….thing…. (kicks plotbunny that forced her to make fanfic) To make up for my own dissatisfaction at the ending, I made up my own ending….. This fic takes place in Munich, Germany (I think it's Germany) after the final battle. And no matter what, I WILL get Ed and Al to find each other, one way or another. I just can't imagine them alone….

Oh, and another warning…. Due to my yaoi-obsessed nature, this fic will probably contain shounen-ai, yaoi, and at the very least, MAJOR yaoi hintage, lol! Although I don't really plan for this to be romantically-based, it will probably somehow end up that way anyway…. (sigh) Oh well…. I talk too much!!! On with the fic!

Chapter One: Memories

"Hey, Ed! Are you going out?"

Ed paused in the doorway and stuck his head back inside the shop. The smell of freshly-baked bread tickled his nose, and a small smile tugged at his lips. He looked back to where a woman stood behind the counter, her familiar face shrouded by wisps of black hair. For a moment, Ed remembered when that same exact face used to smile confidently at him, the wispy hair braided into multitudes of black strands, and pulled back harshly to reflect the woman's harsh lifestyle. In that world, the woman had been dependable, responsible....strong. Her fighting skills were unrivalled, and her alchemy was....

The small smile upon Ed's lips fell slightly, and a pained look came into his eyes. Even after three years, Ed still felt pain whenever he remembered the life he left behind in the gates. Even after so long, the memories still haunted him.

Suddenly realizing that the woman behind the counter was frowning at him, Ed flashed a smile at her and said nonchalantly, "Yeah, I'm just going out for a breath of fresh air, Sensei—er—Estelle. I won't be too long."

The woman called Estelle sighed and said to him, "You know you don't have to call me Sensei all the time. I'm not teaching you anything."

Edward rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish expression on his face. "Yeah, I know…. I did it out of habit, sorry…."

The woman who looked exactly like his former sensei nodded hesitantly with a troubled look on her face. "All right," she said slowly, unconsciously smoothing her tattered brown apron, "but be back before noon. I want you to take care of the shop for a while."

Ed nodded once in affirmation. "Before noon. Got it. Be back in a bit!" Ed flashed her another one of his grins and pushed open the door, listening to the pristine tingle of the bell that hung just above it. And as the door swung shut, Ed entered the morning hustle and bustle of the city. The sun had been up for a couple hours now, and the city was already awake. Women walked side-by-side, gossiping as they pushed strollers down the sidewalk. Children ran from the street to let the cars pass, only to resume their play again.

All in all, it was turning out to be a perfect day. Why, then, did Ed feel so sad? As he walked down the crowded sidewalk, he contemplated what had just happened. He hadn't thought of his old life in so long…. He had thought he was over it…. Why today, of all days, did those painful memories decide to come back? His metal arm and leg hung heavier upon him than ever, and his dark thoughts only seemed to add to the weight.

As he walked by, he could see people turning their heads and whispering to one another. He could feel their gazes as he passed them, and could see their sneers out of the corner of his eyes. Ed knew he drew attention to himself. In this world, metal limbs were uncommon. Strange, even. A person with two metal limbs was enough to spark the worst of rumors. Women tugged furiously at curious children and ushered them inside their homes. Men walked stiffly past him, grasping at their wives' arms and hurrying along their way. Most animals didn't like him either. The slightly metallic clanging noise he made scared them off.

Ed should have been used to this by now. He should not have been bothered by it. But today he was. Today, for whatever reason, he felt more out-of-place than he had in three years.

Three years ago…. Edward paused next to a street-cart that was selling hand-carved wooden figurines. Picking up one that looked remarkably like a cat, his eyes clouded over, and he remembered that fateful night three years ago….

The year was 1921. The place was just outside of the University of Munich. And it was raining. Hard.

The night was cold, and the wind was howling, making Edward's cloak flap wildly. He had lost his hair-tie somewhere along the way, and he was drenched to the bone.

He had been crying. Acid tears streamed down his face and mingled with the rain as he stumbled through the deserted streets. He had no concept of time, but he knew he had been stumbling around for hours. He had just been to see the man called Oberth—the only one that could help him in this world. That man had been his last hope to see his brother and regain his old life. With his help, they could build a rocket and somehow, someway, find their way back to his world. Back to the world of alchemy.

Ed tried to fight the harsh wind and rain, but it became too much for his weakened body. He sobbed and collapsed upon the ground, curling up against the rain.

He had tried to tell his story to the scientist, but Oberth had refused to listen. The man threw Ed out on his heels into the rain, muttering about 'youth these days' and 'different worlds…..pah!' No matter how many times Ed had come back to the man, whenever he mentioned his world of alchemy, he found himself thrown out into the rain again. Now that he thought of it, a scientist such as Oberth would have thought his ideas were unrealistic—in this world, alchemy was thought of as magic, and therefore was considered to be fake. But back then, on that night, when he was thrown into that watery hell, he felt like it was the end of the world.

He didn't remember much from that night. He just remembered crying and crying….and wanting to take his own life. He remembered how he crawled along the ground, sobbing, until he found his way to an alleyway. There, he huddled up against the stone wall and sobbed until he felt sick, choking and gasping for air. He remembered seeing the glint of broken glass through his tears, and how he could see in that broken green glass a way out of this harsh world. He crawled towards the glass, his chest wracking with sobs, and took the fatal piece of glass in his metal hand, holding it to his left arm.

He curled up against the wall, just holding that piece of glass to his arm, willing himself to slit his only human wrist; to go through with it. The glass felt cold against his wrist, and water dripped from his hair into his eyes, obscuring his view. All he could hear was the constant beating of the rain on the pavement, and his own choking sobs. All he could see was a blur as the watery world and his own tears ran together. He could only feel the rain as it ran down his back and face, and the metallic iciness of his prosthetic arm as he held it to his body in a pathetic attempt for warmth.

So this was how his life was going to end….

He held up the piece of glass for the final cut, and then….

Swoosh! The piece of glass went flying through the air, clattering to the ground several feet away. A shadow fell over him suddenly, sheltering him from the rain. The figure bent down and knelt next to him, holding an umbrella over him. Ed couldn't see the woman's face through all the rain and tears, but he heard her gentle voice say, "Well now. What's a boy like you doing out here on a night like this? And with a very sharp piece of glass, no less?"

That voice…. It sounded familiar….

Ed leaned forward from the wall, wiping away his tears furiously until he could see the outline of the woman's body….and then her face….

Ed gasped, his sobs coming to a crashing halt as he saw the woman in front of him. "Sen—Sensei?!" He stared up at the woman in disbelief. His teacher was here? But how, why? Did she come through the gate too?

Ed's eyebrows contracted as the woman chuckled. "No, no. I'm no teacher. You must have mistaken me for someone else. My name is Estelle. What's yours, child?"

"….Edward…." he said softly, and then wiped the cooling tears from his face and sat up straight against the wall. "And I'm not a child," he added, his voice soft but firm.

The woman's eyes narrowed, scrutinizing his face as the rain continued to pour around them. She gazed deeply into his golden eyes….and saw something there that surprised her. There was a sorrow there, in those golden depths, that spoke of pain and suffering…. Yet there was also the dim light of hope. That light had all but been burned out, but it had already started to rekindle, even as they sat there, looking at each other.

Estelle smiled gently. This child had gone through more than his far share of hardships. "All right then…. Edward, was it? Tell me…. What exactly were you planning to do with that piece of glass?"

Ed didn't answer, just stared at her with a grim look upon his face.

The woman frowned. "Would you end your life, even before you had a chance to live?"

Estelle was surprised when the boy grinned, an ironic glint in his deep golden eyes. "Life…? Ha…." He looked away from the woman. "There's no life for me here anymore. I have no purpose. I have no hope. And I'm useless. All I can do is live…."

Estelle looked at the heart-broken boy in front of her and realized, with a sudden jolt, that he was the same age as her own son would have been, had he been alive. With a sudden pang of compassion, the woman reached out with one hand and caressed his cheek, turning his face until it was gazing into her own.

"For now, living is just fine, " she whispered.

Ed looked up into the face of the woman and saw her smile gently.

Leaning down, the woman embraced him, holding his head to her warm breast. She held him, caressing the long strands of his hair, and whispered gently. "Just living is fine. Just keep living."

Enveloped in warmth, Ed could feel his body slowly start to warm with her touch. The searing cold that had him shivering just a moment before started to recede until nothing was left but the aching of his weary muscles. At last, the stress of the day and his weariness consumed him, and he drifted off into a peaceful sleep that he hadn't gotten in what seemed like years. The last thing he remembered before going off to sleep was the sound of the woman humming as she rocked him gently against her chest.

Ed shook himself out of his reverie, placed the wooden cat back down onto the cart, and resumed walking. That day now seemed so long ago. He remembered how he had woken up in a clean bed the day after, in the care of Estelle and her husband Karl. Ever since, they had allowed him to stay in the room above the bakery they owned, feeding and keeping him in exchange for work. He would run errands for them, or take care of the shop, and they in turn would help him out with money and government issues. So far, it had worked well.

Edward sighed to himself and sat down on a bench underneath a small tree where he could observe the passing people in peace. This world, so like his own, was also very different and it took a little getting used to.

He had gotten used to the clothes, although he did regret not being able to wear his old red cloak. Here, if you wore something that bright, you would get unwanted attention-- usually attention from whatever desperate thief or pickpocket happened to cross your path. Ed had seen too many limp bodies in alleyways to draw attention to himself like that. He wasn't that stupid.

He now wore what most people in this city wore—a white collared shirt, a plain brown jacket, and the same color pants. His long golden hair, once braided down his back, was now tied back loosely with a white tie. He had long since lost the white gloves he wore.

Yet even with his non-descript clothing, he still managed to draw attention to himself. Maybe it didn't have anything to do with his clothes or hair at all. People here just seemed to sense his strangeness as though they knew he didn't quite belong. There was just something about the former alchemist that drew eyes…. A quietness in the way he spoke; the sadness in his golden eyes that held a burden far beyond his years; and an aura about him of unlimited dormant potential. There was just something about him that captured the attention, even if it was unwanted. Even now, as he sat quietly under the tree, people passing by started to stare, until Ed began to feel a bit uncomfortable.

Getting up from the bench, he heard the jangling of money in his pocket, and suddenly smiled. He hadn't been to the mechanic's shop in a while. Maybe he'd go pay old Mustang a visit. And with a huge grin on his face, he headed off down the street.

X End Chapter One X

Soooooo, how'd you like it…? I wanted to kind of make this an angsty chapter, although I don't know how much success I had…. Does it even make sense? I dunno…. Anyway, I have big plans for this fanfic…..mwahahahaha! (evil laughter) I'm gonna put Colonel Mustang in the next one…..although he's not quite the same person he used to be….heh heh (evil diabolical chuckle) Ah, I love making fun of Mustang… ha! Don't get me wrong, I love him, but he's sometimes just so fun to mess with….Yeah…..I'm talking about him like I know him, lol! But that's what happens when you're obsessed with anime! XD

Anyway, get ready for some half-plot-twistings next chapter…..and Al makes his grand entrance!

I still don't know if I should have a romantic focus on Ed and Al….. As of now, I'm thinking they're going to have a very strange relationship….But it's gonna be good! I promise! Heh heh heh…

(reader shoots author for talking too much)

(author bleeds badly but keeps talking) Oh and if you're wondering about the name Estelle, I just typed in 'common German names 1921' on Google, and used the first name that wasn't too weird….like Wilhelmina….(shivers) Sorry for all you Wilhelminas out there, but….that is one seriously weird name….lol

Bye for real this time… (cough) _review please!_ (cough)

(hack hack hack) _review and I'll love you forever!!!!!!_ (cough hack die)


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